Overcoming Grief

Overcoming Grief

During my first year of college a life-long family friend and mentor tragically lost his son. Separated by distance, I assumed that his Christian friends, the staff at his church, and his Sunday school class would step in and wrap their arms around him and his wife. Needless to say I was surprised, one year later, when we were able to finally meet face to face. When I asked him how he and his wife were doing the first words out of his mouth were, “Brian, the church failed us during our greatest time of need.” Knowing first-hand his maturity and emotional soundness, I was taken back. I thought, “If he said the church failed them, the church must have really failed them.”
Those who experience tragic loss, which I’m sure will include all of us by the time we leave this planet, experience sorrow that defies explanation. C.S. Lewis, struggling to put into words how he felt after losing his wife commented,
“No one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the yawning. I keep on swallowing.” (A Grief Observed , p. 19)
And if there was ever someone besides Lewis that couldn’t put their finger on the depth of their grief, it had to be Naomi.
The Book of Ruth tells us that Naomi was happily married to a man named Elimilech and together they had two strong sons, Mahlon and Kilion. As life goes, business took her family to a foreign country-a place called Moab. But even in that distant land their family blossomed. Life was good. Then, without even the faintest hint that heartbreak was standing at her door, Naomi’s husband didn’t return home for dinner. Who could have known that their kiss that morning would have been their last? Her sons eventually married, but even their weddings and talk of children couldn’t take away the emptiness she felt. Finally, in a cruel twist that even Hollywood wouldn’t script, she lost both of her sons. She was devastated, alone and bewildered. Naomi was so broken that Ruth 1:20 tells us that she began asking people to not call her Naomi (meaning “pleasant”) anymore but Mara (meaning “bitter”).
The bright spot, if there can be a bright spot in someone’s tragic loss, is that there was someone who didn’t leave her. Her name was Ruth, her daughter-in-law. We’re told she didn’t offer any deep theological explanations. There’s no record that she tried to provide the “right word” at the “right time.” All we hear is Ruth’s promise in Ruth 1:16, “Where you go I will go, and where you stay, I will stay.” And that’s exactly what she did.
I never asked my friend what his church could have done differently. I didn’t feel that it was my place.
My guess? Unlike Ruth, there were probably too many words and too few visits.

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Coping with the loss of a pet.

Coping With The Loss Of A Pet

I run an online pet memorial web site and as you can imagine I come into contact with many people who have lost a much loved pet or animal companion.
Looking through the memorial web sites that pet owners create when a beloved pet passes away has shown my that there are a number of ways that people come to cope with the loss of a pet.
Some people seem to be unsure or even embarrassed about the depth of grief and loss that they feel when a close pet dies. In the back of their minds they may think that others would think “It was just a pet”, “only an animal” and be surprised at how the death affects them.
But the truth of the matter is that we form a very special bond with our pets, they become part of the family and we love and take care of them for many years.
Many people confide in their pets (if my dog could talk I’d be in big trouble.), pets help to take us out of ourselves when things are not going so good in other areas of your lives and they have unconditional love to give us. All of this goes to form a special bond that when broken by the death of our pet, goes to make a substantial loss.
Possibly those who think “it’s just a pet” have never really formed that special human /animal bond, and this brings to mind the beautiful quote by Anatole France.
“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.”
It is totally okay to grieve for a lost pet and it is also necessary if you had that special bond with your pet.
Many people find that writing down their feeling helps enormously.
A simple heartfelt verse or poem is a very good way to contact the grief that you feel. Writing down your favourite memories, or an expression of the relationship that you had with your pet will go to help with the grieving process.
Others may want to mark the passing of a pet in other ways with a headstone or other physical memorial.
More and more people are creating online memorials and a lot of the people who do say that it actually helps them to focus on their feelings and memories as well as giving friends and family a chance to better understand the relationship that they had with their pet.
It is well accepted that in order to truly come through a period of loss and grief, one must be able to face every aspect of the loss. Focusing your attention on your pet’s life and what they meant to you will help in that process.
We sometimes have to cry the grief out to allow the joy of our good memories to shine through.
If you are coming to terms with the loss of a pet or animal companion and if you are finding it difficult, try focusing your attention on your pet, try writing a short poem, try writing down exactly what your pet meant to you. Yes the tears will come, but if you continue to look at those memories and feelings soon the tears will go and you will be left with the good memories. But more importantly you will be able to enjoy those memories once the grief has gone.

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Dating After Death Of A Loved One

Dating After Death Of A Loved One

It’s not uncommon to reach a point when you want to start dating after death of loved one. We as humans are wired to be with others and to feel loved and needed. The problem is that when you start to date you can get inundated with feelings of guilt and / or grief. It’s important to know that these feelings are perfectly normal.

The thing you can do before you start dating after death of loved one is to take plenty of time to mourn your loss. Sometimes people are in so much pain that they try to rush this step.

They go back into the dating pool not because they are ready to love again but because they are looking for something (or someone) to dull the pain.

The problem with this approach is that in the long run you are only delaying your healing process. In addition, you are also putting the feelings or your new love at risk.

If you haven’t fully dealt with your loss you won’t be able to give yourself to the new person in your life. They may end up getting hurt because they thought you loved them as much as they have grown to love you.

To avoid these issues, make sure you allow yourself the time you need to heal. And that brings me to another point; there is no hard and fast rule about how long it will take.

Everyone is different and will need what they need to fully heal. In many cases, it will be helpful to see a counselor to get some help dealing with your grief in constructive ways.

A trained grief counselor can help you move past your grief as quickly as possible without pushing it down and ignoring it. Ignoring your grief will only give it power over you for a long period of time.

It can continually come up and grab you when you least expect it and that can go on indefinitely… that is not what you want.

Be careful as you enter the dating world that you don’t subconsciously try to "replace" your lost spouse. Don’t continually compare your new love with your past love. It’s not fair to anyone involved.

Instead focus on main character traits that you like and want to find in someone. If you are honest, you may admit that some of these characteristics that you like weren’t really present in your deceased spouse. If you do come to this realization, don’t feel guilty.

By focusing on the "things" that you like in a partner rather than your old partner, you have a better chance of finding someone you can be truly compatible with as well as diminishing the chances that you are only trying to find a "replacement".

Take things very slowly, there is no rush. It takes time to get to know someone and to build trust and friendship. You really don’t want a relationship that isn’t based on these traits since it either won’t work or it will be very stressful… or both.

Dating after death of loved one can be tricky. It can be exciting and horrifying at the same time. Just be willing to take it slow and rely on your positive friends for advice and guidance during this transition.

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Pet Sympathy Gifts

Pet Sympathy Gifts

The loss of a pet is a devastating experience. Death or illness of the animals can have a drastic impact on the lives of the owners. Sometimes the death of the pet is considered to be worse than the loss of a human family member. Grieving for the pet can have painful repercussions, wherein the owner is likely to stop moving forward in life. Pet sympathy gifts are a good medium to express condolences.

The sympathy gifts specifically address the needs of a grieving pet owner. The idea is to deliver a sympathetic message of support and comfort, as well as validate the grief of someone who has lost a pet. These gifts are aimed not at alleviating an individual’s grief, but they send a message of comfort and assure the recipient that people acknowledge his grief.

A decorative keepsake box, gourmet chicken noodle soup, hot fudge sundae cake, herbal gourmet tea and honey straws, intention card or gift enclosure card are some of the commonly used gifts an individual can offer to a grieving owner.

A burial ritual can bring solace to the grieving pet owner. Visuals or photographs of the pet can be a great reliever as well. Picture frames, collages, and customized photo urns can make ideal gifts. Some of the sympathy packages can also include flowers, wreaths, and fresh fruit baskets to lift their spirits. Pet memorial products such as keepsake boxes make the owner feel closer to their lost companion. Some of the other gifts include personalized angel paintings, a pendant or bracelet, music CD, a personalized book of poems, a gift basket personalized to the family, a photo album or scrapbook of good times shared, a memorial garden stepping stone or bench, a Bible or a rosary, to name a few.

An ideal gift that one can give after a gap is with another small pet. This would ease his sorrow and would also help him overcome the grief of his lost pet.

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Good Grief

Good Grief

If tears are an indication of how special my relationship with my mother was, I cry with pride! I’ve come to see grief as pain with a purpose. Interestingly enough, as I cared for my mother in my home the last several weeks of her life, much of what I had learned through spiritual teachings about death had gone out the window. It seemed as though I were losing her forever! At times, I wallowed in sadness and self-pity.
Living life in slow motion, I gazed off into my own inner space, sobbed, and occasionally argued with that part of my mind that did not want my mother to go. Even what I had learned about self-care was not accessible to me since I seemed to exist ‘in a fog.’ I wasn’t getting enough sleep and I felt scared and alone; but not for long!
I finally came to rest on the spiritual foundation that has carried me this far in life. What a respite those teachings became as I was able to see my grief as a journey of spiritual unfoldment. Grief is a normal and natural reaction to loss yet our society seems to hurry along the feelings around transitions that take time to heal. We grieve what could have been and what we feel ‘should’ have been, along with not being able to see our loved one again, on Earth anyway!
The grief that I felt was really just me focusing on the idea that her life was ending. Using Spiritual principles, I was able to then focus on the truth, which is that Spirit, which is who we really are, is eternal! She too, would live on…
I feel like a large part of me died along with my mother. Maybe it was a part of me that was ready to be put at rest. Her death has created a void in me that I can choose to fill as I’d like. As I open up even more to greater spiritual understanding, I am learning to trust the whole process of life, including death.
I have come to see this “mourning after” as a time to heal, to heal unprocessed sadness in my life, including disappointments from relationships, jobs ending sooner than I would have liked, losing beloved pets, and moving from town to town as I grew up. There are opportunities inherent in life’s changes that are a gateway to greater personal and spiritual growth. The dynamics of change can be stepping stones to open up to the fullness of God’s love.
I received a card from a friend that said, “When the sea recedes, many treasures and gifts appear that otherwise never would have been noticed.” From a metaphysical or symbolic perspective, I can look at my mother’s death as being the sea receding. Her death, part of the natural ebb and flow of life, brought me many gifts.
Grieving the loss of my mother involved surrender. There came a point where I had to let go and let God, and what a blessing that was! I gradually remembered all that I had been taught around eternal life and the truth that she reemerged into pure positive energy as she “went home” to God. Another gift I was reminded of when, through “coincidence” I ended up in the office of a wonderful spiritual therapist, is that we are always being guided and we are never alone. Perhaps my grief is just God’s love washing over me. I can’t seem to get away from God’s goodness!
It is her death that inspires me to move forward and get clear about what I would like to experience in the next stage of my life. Similar to her spiritual ascension, I feel that I am reemerging into the rest of my life with a more grounded belief in the idea that the Loving Intelligence that created us and all of life is ever present, guiding and directing our ways.
God, you are the love that washes away what no longer serves me. During this time of grief, I ask that you wash away any limiting belief I have that would hold me back.

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How to Cope with Anticipatory Grief

How to Cope with Anticipatory Grief

Anticipatory grief is the name given to the mix of emotions experienced when we are living in expectation of loss and grieving because of it. Anticipatory Grief is particularly relevant to those who have received a terminal diagnosis and for those who love and care for them.

Terminal diagnosis changes the very structure of our existence, takes away our control and our ability to hope and plan for the future. When someone we love is given a terminal illness, we become painfully aware of the fragility of life and may even fear for our own mortality.

Living in expectation of death, causes us to experience many of the symptoms and emotions of the grief suffered when a loved one has actually died, including; shock, anger, denial, physical and emotional pain, helplessness and sorrow. Depression is common and changes in eating, sleeping and bowel habits may also occur.

Prognosis increases our turmoil; it is inevitable that we begin counting down the days to the estimated time of demise and see the dawn of each day as bringing us closer to it. Some may feel a sense of surreal ness and an inability to fit back into the pattern of life prior to diagnosis, this often intensified by the reaction of friends and acquaintances, who may be dealing with their own shock and dismay at the news and not knowing what to do or say, avoid us.

It may be some time before we can truly accept that our loved one is dying and during this time we may experience alternate periods of acceptance and denial. Often, necessity brings about acceptance for the Carer as they need to make decisions regarding the best options available for the care of their loved ones. The patient however, may choose not to accept the prognosis and it is important for the carer to recognise and support their need to live in hope of a cure. Hope is paramount to quality of life for their loved one and may even contribute to their longer survival.

Whether our grief is anticipatory or grief due to the death of a loved one, there is a very real need to talk to someone about the roller coaster of emotions we are experiencing. This however is not always easy to do, due to a number of reasons which may include; trying to remain strong for the patient, trying to remain strong for the children, trying to put on a brave face for other family members and friends.

Counselling, though readily available, is resisted by many, who believe that no one could possibly understand what they are feeling, nor do anything about the outcome. Speaking from my own experience of anticipatory grief due my husband’s terminal illness, I initially had these feelings and it was with some trepidation that I went to my first counselling session. Upon hearing my story, the counselling cried, further strengthening my opinion that she could not possibly help me. I was mistaken; after a few visits I began to see the benefit of these sessions and looked forward to seeing her each week. Here, for a short time at least, I could stop acting as if everything was okay – when nothing was okay, here I could take off my brave face and let my defences down.

The only trouble with counselling is that it may not always be available when you need it. I highly recommend keeping a personal diary for these occasions. During the two years of my husbands terminal illness, my diary was without a doubt, my strongest coping tool, I wrote in it daily, often in the form of poetry, pouring my anger, my fear and my heartache on to the pages. Periodically, I would read back through it and through this I came to know myself very well – later I could see my strength coming through.
Excerpts and poems from my diary now form a major part of my book “Lean on Me” Cancer through a Carer’s Eyes.

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Grief May Not Always Be About The Death Of A Loved One

Grief May Not Always Be About The Death Of A Loved One

I have seen grief at its worse. A friend of mine lost her husband at sea, and the body was never found. She did not know whether to let go or continue to cling to her hope that someday they would meet again. With no body to bury, she hanged onto hope and despair. After three years, she started to realize she would never see her husband again. Her bereavement took a toll on her work, relationships with friends and family. Her family got professional help for her. When her bereavement was over, she got on with her life.

Grief may not always be about the death of a loved one, it may also be the loss of things people value or care for deeply. This is a natural reaction to a loss. Although painful, grief or bereavement is normal and necessary to expunge all the negative feelings associated with loss. People react to a deep loss differently. Others can cry. This is cathartic. But there are others who stoically bear the sorrow of bereavement. It may take months or years before they can come to grips with themselves. There are several reactions to the death of a loved one. They may be shocked or disbelieving, harbor a sense of deep loss, and feel guilt and regret.

Other people are not aware that bereavement may prod feelings of injustice, envy, anger, and relief. They nurture this nagging suspicion that they should not feel this way. When others wallow in loneliness and depression this is also normal. The process of grief does not follow a formula. Some may need professional help, and others may get back on with their routines in a snap.

Bereavement is also painful for children and adolescents. Very young children may understand the extent of the loss but they feel the pain as much as adults do. They may not share their grief, for they see that the adults are grieving. Sometimes when young adolescents feel they are to blame for the death of a loved one. This can do great harm to the mind of a young child.

It is advisable to get professional help when someone cannot get over bereavement. The family doctor can provide medical prescription for help people going into depressions. Some can get also get help from religious or voluntary organizations. Others may have to see a psychotherapist or a bereavement counselor.

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Grief & Loss

Grief & Loss

Have you ever lost someone close to you to death? We go through a grief process that was best described by Elizabeth Kublar-Ross in On Death and Dying. In it she talks about the five stages that people go through—denial and isolation; anger; bargaining; depression and finally acceptance. The dying, as well as those who love them, go through these stages although rarely at the same time and these stages are not predictable.

You may think you are in the anger phase, then jump to depression and then, back to denial again. There is no rhyme or reason—only what feels right for each individual at the time. No one can predict how long a phase will last. If you are grieving and some well-meaning person suggests that you shouldn’t be feeling what you are feeling, kindly thank them for their concern but know that you are exactly where you need to be.

However, with grief, sometimes you will become aware of something not feeling right. You may think, “I should be over this by now” or “I don’t like feeling this way.” When you, yourself, recognize that it is time to move beyond where you are at, then trust that feeling as well.

I’d like to talk about grief from a Choice Theory perspective. This will probably take several posts to make sense of it all. I need to start with the Choice Theory expression that all behavior is purposeful since grief is really just a behavior in choice theory terms. Choice theory tells us that everything we do at any point in time is our best attempt to get something we want—some picture we have in our Quality World that will meet one or more of our needs in some way. Grief is no exception.

Once you understand that all behavior is purposeful and that grief is a person’s best attempt to get something they want, then it becomes easier to know what to do about it. What could we possibly be trying to get by grieving? Most people would say that there isn’t a choice. When someone we love dies, we have to grieve. I say it is natural that we will miss the person’s presence in our life but it isn’t inevitable that we have to grieve, not in the way most people think of grieving.

The first thing I believe that we are trying to get with our grief is the person who died. When we grieve, it is our best attempt to keep that person alive, at least in our perceived world. We know they no longer exist in the physical world as we know it. However, if we continue to think about them, pine for them, grieve their presence, then it keeps the thought of that person active in our perception and it feels better to us than the total void or absence of the other person.

Another possible advantage of grief is that it shows others just how much we cared for and loved the person who died. I’m not suggesting that people are being manipulative in their grief. What I am saying is that there is a side benefit to grief in that it shows others how much we cared. It also says, “See what a good ___________ I was.” Fill in the blank with husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, mother, father, sister, brother, etc.

Grief is also instrumental in getting us the support we need from others during our time of bereavement. People do things for us that we would normally be expected to do ourselves. Again, please don’t think that I am suggesting that a grieving person wakes up and “decides” to grieve so someone will stop by the house with a meal. None of this is conscious but I’m merely pointing out the potential advantages of grief.

Once we become totally conscious and aware of what our grief does and doesn’t do for us, then comes the hard part. We need to make some decisions about how we want to live.

There are always at least three options in every situation and they can be framed up in terms of—leave it, change it or accept it. With death, you may wonder how someone is going to “leave it.” Well, some possible ways would be major denial of the loss, suicide, drugs and/or alcohol abuse, or sinking deep into mental illness, among others.

When we get caught up in changing things, we may continue in our grief as our best attempt to get the person back. That might look like constant trips to the cemetery, frequent conversations with the deceased, refusing to believe he or she is truly gone, constantly talking about the one who’s gone. There are many things we can do to attempt to change the reality of the loss.

If and when we come to accept it, we can experience some measure of peace and rejoin the living. A healthy step in this process is finding a way to somehow maintain that person’s presence in our lives. Now, this is a very individual thing and you must be very careful not to judge the choices of the bereaved.

Most people saw Meet the Parents. In it, Robert DiNero’s character kept the ashes of his mother in an urn on his mantle. Many people do this with the cremated remains of their loved ones. Others place some ashes in a necklace and wear it around their neck. Some will set up scholarship or memorials. When my husband died, his family and I created a wrestling scholarship fund for a local high school wrestler. When my friend lost her 8 year-old son, she had the Houston zoo name the frog exhibit after him!

There are all kinds of creative ways to maintain the person’s presence. There is no wrong way. Whatever brings comfort to the bereaved should be supported by those around them. Remember that just because a person is choosing something that may be distasteful or wrong to you, doesn’t make it wrong for that person.

When acceptance occurs, then the grieving person can begin to reassimilate back into their life and the lives of those around them but it won’t happen overnight. We need patience and loving understanding for those coming back from grief.

Another possible choice is the person who doesn’t appear to grieve at all. There may be many explanations for this behavior. The person may be very private and won’t do his or her grieving where others can see. Another possibility is that the person is trying to be strong for everyone else. I know I wanted my children to KNOW that I was going to be OK. I didn’t want them to believe that they had to take care of me. To some, it seemed that I wasn’t grieving enough.

If you are grieving, or you are involved in the life of someone who is grieving, please don’t judge yourself or them. Understand that all behavior is purposeful and the person is getting something out of what they are doing. When they become conscious that there is a choice, then they can make a conscious decision about which of the three choices they want to make. Once they know the direction they want to go in, they have to flesh out the details of their plan.

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Share your grief

Share your grief

Everyone gets to experience a moment of grief, loss and sadness at some point in their lifetime. Grief is something that follows a loss. Grief can take many forms: it can initially settle in as numbness and later evolve to become a mixture of sadness, anger, confusion, sense of being lost, frustration nd desperation. Losing a child causes grief that can be very painful. A parent who is emotionally and physically close to the child finds himself losing a portion of his own identity along with the loss of a child. This puts the parent in a sort of psychological trauma. They may find themselves wondering how to bring back their child – searching for them or reminders of them. They may even hear their voice or think that they see them in familiar places. It takes a long time to gradually get accustomed to the great loss. The intense emotional pain that takes over the parents when they first hear of the loss of their child can make them feel if they can ever survive through this pain. Progress is made through grief slowly as the feelings are worked through. Freud called this grief work.
Each individual reacts in a different way to the loss of a child. While some people seem to cope well with the grief, others isolate themselves and become depressed and even consider suicide. Isolation is not a good thing unless the person is self-determined and tough or spiritually detached in mind. Isolated people do not let their feelings show and suppressed feelings lead to depression and other kinds of physical and mental ailments as well. Research shows that it is not a good thing to pretend that nothing happened when a loss as huge as the loss of a child happens. Without adequate help from others, the parents are likely to feel unease, restlessness and anxiety. If they have more children, they might fear for their lives. If the child they have lost is their only child, they might fear thinking about their own future. It is important they need someone to listen and ask questions and not just offer them words of comfort.
When the loss of a child happens, the parents need people to help them confront the fears of the new and unknown future. It’s very important that they are able to share their grief with close friends, family members or counselors. It is said that in times of crisis such as this, parents need a kind of emotional first aid – love and a shoulder to cry on. Parents do need privacy and time to mourn the loss of their child. They also need people for support. There should be a balance between grieving alone and sharing grief. Some people find it helpful to spend fifteen to twenty minutes alone every day. This time acts as a safety valve. In it they deal with any emotions they have stored up during the day. There are different ways of grieving in private: thinking, crying, praying, meditating, writing or drawing, talking to the dog! Keeping a journal or grief diary also helps. Parents can write down their feelings and the memories of the loved one. They can then see how their grief changes over a period of weeks and months. This is proof of progress. If the diary is kept in a safe place the written memories become precious in the future. Alternatively some people feel more comfortable with drawing pictures or seeing photographs of their child. Sharing the grief with loved ones help people to talk through their grief. They can relive their happy moments with their child by talking to people or counselors, or by joining a bereavement support group.
Turning inwards for spiritual strength also helps in understanding and coping with grief. Spirituality helps a person be grateful for the things that he has rather than grieving for what he has lost. It also enables a person to accept that his child is now in the hands of God and happy in Heaven.
Thus we find that different people have different strategies for coping with grief. When then loss is as great as the loss of one’s precious child, parents need a balanced approach to dealing with grief. They need to have moments of isolation to work through their feelings, moments of prayer to help them acquire new understanding and strength, and moments of sharing to have the support of family and friends. This mix is different for different people and when they find the right balance, they can find a way to cope with the loss of a child.

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Helpful Advice For Anyone Suffering From Cancer

Helpful Advice For Anyone Suffering From Cancer

Finding out you have cancer is going to trigger those five stages of grief, and this will inhibit your ability to fight the deadly disease. It’s important when you learn you have cancer to be as educated as possible about how to get rid of it. Use the tips below to help you overcome cancer.

Consider getting a genetic test for cancer. If you are at high risk for cancer based on family history, it could be beneficial to undergo genetic testing. Before making the decision, be sure to get a complete and accurate family history and discuss your options with your doctor. Knowing whether or not you are genetically predisposed to cancer can influence your prevention strategies and decrease your risk of developing cancer.

Check your available surgical options compared to your chemotherapy options and vice versa when fighting cancer. Maybe surgery can help you to get rid of the cancerous tumor, and maybe chemotherapy is your better option. When a doctor suggests one, be sure that you ask about the other. Cover all your bases here.

A lot of people going through chemotherapy complain of nausea. Ginger or peppermint tea help to control nausea and crystallized ginger can help as well. It may make you feel better to eat several small meals throughout the day. Don’t eat things that make your nausea worse. Stay away from foods that are hot, warm, sugary, fried, or greasy.

Many imaging centers give you the opportunity to get the results from your screening while you are there. You may need to look around to find the center that will do this for you but you will not have to sit around waiting to learn the results. Knowing quickly is going to make it easier for you to deal with.

Individuals with cancer like to know what to expect from their treatments and the disease itself. Help them find information by looking online, visiting the local cancer center and asking questions of medical professionals. The information you gather could be crucial in helping them stay focused and maintain a positive attitude.

When you find out that you have cancer, you need to come to grips with the fact that you are truly sick. Once you are able to do this, you will have an easier time coping and dealing with what you are going through. If you try to avoid it, you may not be doing everything you can to get better.

Do not consume more than two alcoholic beverages in one day for men and only one drink per day for women. This does not mean that you can skip your daily drinks for the week and then drink the entire week’s worth in one night. The alcohol can react adversely with your medications.

We are all susceptible to cancer, no matter how strong we think we are. We’re also all likely to lose track and make poor, uninformed decisions when we allow grief, guilt and self-pity to rule over common sense. Make sure you never act uninformed. The tips you’ve read here can help you make the best decisions for your disease.

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